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I do enjoy a peppery shiraz fireside and a frosty Corona with lime on a hot summer day. The sound of a beer top being popped is one of my favourite summer sounds, second only to maybe cicadas or a distant lawn mower (probably a pleasant childhood core memory).
Drinking is tightly woven into our social fabric. “Wine-c’clock” has been glamourized and normalized. Blah, blah, old news. This post isn’t about that, or about binge drinking, nor the health risks specific to woman and alcohol. Nobody wants to hear that. Epic buzz kill.
And to be clear, I’m not preaching the gospel of sober living. Nobody wants to be told what to do. Or worse, what not to do. Personally, when somebody tells me not to do something, I’m more likely to do it out of spite.
Also, me trying to tell you what to do would be rather hypocritical since… chardonnay makes my day.
I’m merely banging out a few words about how this pandemic fuelled boozefest started becoming less of a supportive crutch and more of a clumsy hobbling. For ME, anyway.
As a rule, I rarely set out to get “drunk.” I don’t actually like the spacey feeling of being intoxicated. It’s probably a Type-A personality, first-born, Capricorn kind of thing. I like to be in control at all times. It’s also a disability parent thing. We’re in charge of the health and safety of a child who is dependent upon us 24/7. It’s a big responsibility.
Since this anxiety provoking quarantine began, drinking has escalated. Not just in my house, but pretty much EVERYWHERE. There are “drinking wine straight from the bottle” memes all over social media. (Clearly I was ahead of the trend since this photo was taken in 2009.)
In the early days of isolation I bought two boxes of wine—one red and one white (his and hers for my husband and I). Normally, one box of wine would last weeks if not a month or longer. Not during quarantine however. So I bought two more. And some grapefruit vodka, mixed with Fresca. Hello 1994. My friend introduced me to this throwback cocktail. “Throwback to the 90s, but also throwback down your throat.”
Lisa shouldn’t drink vodka. Ever. Lightweight Lisa has two fruity cocktails and bam! It’s like someone dropped a bowling ball on her head.
Anyway, I believed the hype that having a few drinks at the end the day would relax me. I literally drank the Koolaid on that one.
Maybe a few sips were relaxing. But beyond that, alcohol makes me feel dopey, unmotivated, puffy, and cranky. I’m attributing the cranky part to the fact that when I drink alcohol (even just a glass or two) it messes with my sleep. I wake up at 3am and can’t fall back into a solid sleep rhythm.
Since you’re reading this blog, you probably know we have a child with underlying medical issues and epilepsy which make her more susceptible to viruses. I myself have high blood pressure, so I’m also at risk of Long Covid complications. Also, people with hypertension shouldn’t drink. I know this. I don’t like it, but I know it’s true.
As fun as it is (because let’s be honest, drinking is entertaining), having more than one glass a night, for me, isn’t a healthy choice.
“So, just have one little glass then, ya lush.”
Fair point.
But here’s the thing—when there are boxes of wine in the house and I’m stressed or bored, my off button becomes unreliable. One glass can become three and the possibility of an “accidental drunking” increases.
So we decided (my husband too) not to bring anymore booze into the house, for now. It’s dry as an Arizona tumbleweed over here. And I’m kind of digging this dry heat.
I’ve grocery shopped twice since this self-imposed prohibition and yes, I did linger as I passed the wine section. It was sad how I eyed those pretty bottles like a lusty Prosecco perv. But I eventually rolled on without looking back.
“How do you FEEL?” friends have asked.
Well… there haven’t been any drastic physical changes. I have a zit on my chin that won’t quit. And my skin is still pretty dry. I’ve lost three pounds though. Surprising considering the sick amount of cookies and potato chips I’ve been stuffing into my face. On the other hand, the weight loss could also be attributed to loss of muscle tone… That’s a story for another day.
One significant change is that I’m sleeping through the night now. ALL THE WAY through. What the? This is a welcome change for sure.
I can’t say I’m exceedingly productive yet, but I am going to bed earlier to read. And I’ve finished little two projects that have been languishing for years, which is more than I’ve done in total since this lockdown began.
The fact is, anxiety is real and it’s uncomfortable. For parents raising kids in profound circumstances, the world is full of worry and uncertainty and real fear right now. So, if you’re enjoying a few drinks and it’s helping you get through it, then cheers to you! Seriously. There’s no hand-book for this surreal situation. If a cocktail or glass of wine soothes your frayed nerves, then going cold turkey right now might not be the best idea.
Just do whatever helps you manage your mental health. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate the freaky weird ass world right now.
Side note, I ordered some CBD tea online yesterday. I’m hoping it’s as zen and calming as they say it is. I’ll let you know! (Update: It didn’t help much. At least I didn’t notice a significant difference.)
Raising a glass to you and whatever you’re drinking!
