Why Does The Term “Special Needs” Still Exist?

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People in the disability community have been saying repeatedly, FOR YEARS, that disabled is not a bad word. They’ve been shouting from the rooftops that “Special Needs” is offensive, outdated and condescending. The majority of disabled people continue to ask us, non-disabled parents of disabled kids, to kindly replace Special Needs with Disabled/Disability.

When I wrote this article (below) four years ago, I quit using the term “Special Needs.” Though, I had a hard time replacing it with disabled. If I’m completely honest, it still feels uncomfortable sometimes when I use it in certain company. Especially in reference to my daughter. I am coming to understand that this is a result of my internalized ableism.

As a child growing up in the 70s/80s I was taught that calling someone disabled was rude. Disabled and the prefix “dis” had very negative connotations. It felt like a verbal cousin of the r-slur.

I struggled to use it confidently, even when disabled adults stated it was their preference. Instead, I often used “gentler” terms like “atypical”, “special abilities”, “delayed” and the hashtag #SpecialNeedsMom. I rationalized it by arguing it was a necessary means of finding and connecting online with other parents with disabled kids.

At one point I decided, as a non-disabled person, that the “special” in special needs could mean “specialized” needs. I’m aware now that the word I was looking for was… accommodations.

There’s no denying that my child differs from her peers in significant ways. And her disabilities can make living in this world difficult. She requires accommodations to keep her safe and to help her succeed. But her NEEDS aren’t SPECIAL. She needs what everyone needs.

I’m still learning and making mistakes.

It’s now 2021. I’ve asked a lot of questions and I’m trying to apply the answers.

The podcast episode Avery and I recorded on this subject is HERE

Here’s the original post I wrote in 2017 about why using SPECIAL NEEDS is ableist (with a few updates). I’d love to hear your thoughts.

March 21, 2017: Disabilities Are Not ‘Special Needs’

It’s taken a decade of research for me to gain even a fraction of understanding of my daughter’s syndrome. I’m still learning. And I make plenty of mistakes. 

Case in point—until recently I didn’t realize the label “special needs” was outdated. I’m immersed in this community, yet I was unaware. And if I missed this, maybe you did too?

I’m not easily offended. I try not to take what people say too seriously and I cut people some slack when they say the wrong thing. We all slip up. Words don’t tell the whole story. Our actions are a better indication of who we really are. 

But, when we are told point-blank that something is offensive, we should pay attention. It’s our responsibility as compassionate citizens to do no harm whenever possible. Updating our vocabulary costs us nothing.

Let’s take the r-slur for example. I’ve written about it a lot over the years.

The word itself is harmless—six letters that mean late or delayed. The original word was never intended to harm. But over the years, the definition changed into something dark and cruel. It hurts people with Down Syndrome. It hurts people with chromosome disorders. It hurts people with intellectual disabilities. To continue using a word when we know it’s hurtful and when there are so many other words to take its place, is wrong. It’s also lazy and ignorant.

2021 Update. The r-slur is still used. More than you would think. WHY?!? I don’t have an answer. I’m legitimately asking WTF?!

Now let’s talk about “special needs.” I didn’t have an issue with those two words used together, but guess what? I don’t have a disability. Disabled people should decide on the language used about them, not their non-disabled parents or other non-disabled people.

My daughter is unaware she is different from anybody else. She doesn’t even know what ‘special needs’ is supposed to mean, let alone if it bothers her. 

However, there are plenty of adults with a variety of disabilities who do. They have been saying for a while (I’m so sorry I missed this) that their needs aren’t any more or less special than anybody else’s.

Their needs are human needs.

They are asking us to stop using special needs and all the other infantilizing and patronizing terms like:

Handi-Capable, Special Abilities, Differently Abled, Challenged, People of All Abilities

These terms were coined by people without disabilities.

I believed calling myself a “special needs parent” was unifying—an easy way to identify my membership to, and support of, a community. I had no idea the term was offensive.

Scrolling through Twitter I noticed that the majority of tweets with the hashtag #specialneeds were written in reference to children or students—presumably written by parents, educators, and caring advocates. Like me, they’re not likely being intentionally disrespectful. They are more likely unaware. 

The preferred term is People With Disabilities; not to be confused with “a disabled person.”  People are not disabled, they have a disability. Their disability is just one part of who they are.

2021 Update: Preference for ‘people first’ or ‘identity first’ language varies depending on the person and the disability.

“One of the primary arguments against person-first language is that it separates people from their disability, which often is central to their life experience. “Disabilities” like autism, deafness, blindness, and paralysis alter a person’s perception and sensory experiences. It is ableist to assume all prefer the same terms, and to insist that non-disabled people know better. It is also ableist to assume that identity-first language is somehow bad, or that it is wrong to identify as a “disabled person”. When deciding how to treat disabled people, the disabled people’s opinions should always outweigh those of able-bodied people. There is nothing wrong with being disabled, and it should not be treated as worse or separate from other social identities.” Source

I’ve written this post not as a “finger wagging” but so that we can all understand and appreciate the need to update our vocabularies. Please help spread the word by sharing this post, or this video below. 

xo Lisa, mom to an awesome kids with disabilities