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If you missed the Netflix series Derek the first time around, go watch it! (Not for kids—there’s swearing and adult situations. Just the way I like it. But just so you’re prepared.)
Eight years since the show’s premiere, and my feelings watching this beautiful story unfold remain the same. The same gut laughs, the same emotional lump in my throat, the same happy tears.
What has changed however is some of the language I used in a review I wrote about Derek. In the original reaction post I wrote back in 2013 I referred to the intellectual disability community as special needs. I also stated that Derek “had autism.” The majority of the ASD community now prefer identity-first language. Derek doesn’t HAVE autism, he IS autistic. But that assumption is incorrect. I’m now aware that the character was never intended to have a label at all.
Ricky Gervais has since said that Derek is not disabled, or autistic, as many (including myself) assumed.
Gervais says, “Derek was meant to be different. He was meant to be marginalised by society. He was meant to draw assumptions by uncaring, thoughtless people who needed to label and pigeonhole individuals for their own peace of mind. He was meant to surprise and undermine stereotypes. And he was meant to look odd, speak funny, have bad hair and no fashion sense and not give a f*ck about such things because he knew they weren’t important. He knew what was really important. Kindness.
He is a hero of mine and I welcome him to be a hero to anyone else. Disabled or otherwise. Popular or ostracised. Derek is not meant to be autistic, but if anyone sees traits that they identify with then so be it. However different you are, it’s nice to know there’s someone a bit like you.” Source
Here’s my original post about Derek with updated language
The first episode of Derek had me confused. It wasn’t funny. I kept expecting Ricky to turn to the camera ala “The Office” to make a humorous comment. It didn’t happen. And what was with the main character? I wasn’t sure what to make of him at first. Was Gervais making people with intellectual disabilities the butt of the joke?
Everyone raved about the show, so I gave it another chance. I’m so glad I did.
Derek is about a person who doesn’t fit into the traditional constructs of society (aka quirky, unique, different…) but who has found his place in the world.
As the parent of an intellectually disabled child, I connected deeply with Derek. “Despite how he looks, he is kind and sweet and sincere. He’s perfect. He’s just perfect.” says Gervais of his character Derek.
I feel the same way about my daughter.
Though Derek is unique in how he looks and acts and walks and talks, “kindness comes along and trumps it all.” says Gervais.
I’ve often said that my daughter is the kindest person I know. She loves big with all her heart. She’s a people person. She, like Derek, adores all living things—pets and babies in particular. And nothing makes her happier than to help however she can.
I worry about how Avery will get along when she grows up. Especially when her dad and I are gone. Will she have friends who love her the way we do? I can’t bear the thought of her ever being alone or unhappy.
But Derek is happy. His friends accept and love him unconditionally. His life has purpose. And he is far from alone.
This is my wish for my child—to be loved, to be happy and to find her place in the world.
She has so much to give. Perhaps she’ll follow in Derek’s footsteps and her life’s purpose will be helping others.
Thank you Ricky Gervais for telling such a poignant story. Derek shines brightly as a beacon of human compassion, acceptance, hope and kindness.
Paul El Kharrat says he feels the correct way of saying it is ‘person with autism’. Paul has as Syndrome.