It’s shocking when you witness hateful people revealing themselves. And it’s gross to know that many of them are parents because… hate is learned. Kids aren’t born like that. They LEARN to hate and to discriminate by listening to and watching their parents. In this episode we tackle the topic of how intellectually and developmentally disabled people often view dating, gender labels, and “ONE LOVE”. It’s a lesson EVERYONE can learn from.

For disabled teens and adults, having a cell phone goes beyond just convenience or entertainment—it can be a lifeline to independence, safety and #accessibility.

Shame on Canadian cell carriers for making cell/data plans inaccessible for so many families. There are ways to remove this financial barrier to what should be a fundamental right. Let’s talk about it.

We don’t mean to be “Momsters.” Our intentions are good, but overstepping and taking over isn’t doing anyone any favours. Do you recognize yourself here? Acknowledging that we “occasionally” do this, is the first step in maybe letting go of the reins a little.

Mentioned in this episode: I’ve Had It Podcast (so good, so relatable and so hilarious!)

This idea for this episode came from a new comment left on an old post I wrote a decade ago. It was a story about a mom and daughter out doing their thing in the world and feeling stung by the judgement of others. Reading it years later, from a new perspective, I can see how our behaviour could be perceived as entitled or at least annoying. Comments about that I can handle. But the comment left by a stranger based in ableist bigoted hatred? That I can’t handle. So I’m calling it out because for every “Ham Sandwich Human,” there are a hundred people who think like him, but just don’t say it out loud.

Warning: Adult Language

In the words of the Bare Naked Ladies, haven’t you always wanted a monkey? Be careful what you wish for though because monkeys are difficult. Especially the thirsty ones. Know what I mean? No? Have a listen to this episode and see if you might also have a thirsty caged monkey (or ten) in your basement.

It’s our 2 year podiversary! So today we’re sharing some behind the scenes insights into this podcast and podcasting in general. At the 24 minute mark Lisa attempts to explain how anyone can create their own podcast easily and for free.

Thank you for listening today and for the past two years! We’re excited to embark on year three! Giddy-up. Let’s do this thing!

As mentioned in this episode:

• Please let us know what disability family focussed podcasts we should add to the growing list on our resource page HERE
• Check out the She 2.0 Podcast HERE

Kermit claims it’s not easy being green. I challenge him to try being purple for a minute. “Purple People” live with epilepsy—they either have the neurological disorder themselves, or they love somebody who does. This is our second epilepsy focussed episode, which includes a ten question quiz to test your epilepsy knowledge. Our hope is that by sharing what we’re learning, we can help get people talking, thinking and caring about epilepsy. Our guest Lisa Gray joins us to share her personal connection to epilepsy and talks about her role at ⁠epilepsy.ca⁠.

Thank you Epilepsy Canada for partnering with us for this very special episode in honour of Epilepsy Awareness Month. 💜

⁠Episode 44: All About Epilepsy⁠

Faces of Epilepsy⁠

⁠Podcast: Seizing Life⁠

⁠Ways to take action⁠

This episode is about FEAR. But don’t be afraid, there’s hope. And answers. And possible solutions. Fear is a normal part of life, especially for parents and disability parents in particular.

I hope by sharing some of MY fears, you’ll feel seen and less alone. Because navigating this disability family life can be scary. Let’s do this together! 

🕶 On the blog… Stair Scare

🕶 Ruth Soukup: The 7 Fear Archetypes And How Figure Out Yours

🎙Huberman Lab: How To Breathe Correctly 

📷 Avery’s fall… Instagram Post

Covid finally got us, but Avery did great. Phew. Who knew I’d be the one to struggle? Hi. It’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me. This episode is a story time about our Covid experience with a (gross) peak into where we think it got us. *Trigger warning for those with a strong gag reflex. Avery and I also demonstrate the emergency skill everyone should teach their kids. It’s not pleasant to talk about, but it’s important to empower all kids, typical and atypical, with the information they need to be able to handle medical emergencies and to get help fast.

Avery joins me for the first eight minutes of this episode. For someone with a profound speech disorder, chatting for eight solid minutes in no small feat. She answers three important questions and then makes an exciting announcement. I’m so proud of this kiddo. Wait, she’s no longer a kid. She’s a teen heading toward 18 and young adulthood and everything that involves. And it’s why we talk about the DSO application in this episode. If your child is 16 and you live in Ontario (I’m assuming other provinces have similar funding and support programs?) it’s time to get the ball rolling. It’s intimidating and I CAN NOT help you because I’m clueless. However, Avery and I are sussing it out and we’ll be back to share some useful step-by-steps.

Slap Those Spuds—Embarrassing Parenting Moments (I feel so bad about that lady’s flattened spud mound. May it rest in peas and carrots.)

Carrot Show-TV shows and social media that feeds your brain / Candy Show-media that is just for fun and has no educational value / Cracker Show- somewhere in between. 

This episode is a little vulnerable so… be gentle. 🙂 It starts with my advice on the two best places for families to find support and community for whatever they’re going through. It ends with an apology—or more accurately, an admission of guilt and an explanation for my behaviour. 

You can tell how tired I am in the episode by the ridiculous amount of pauses and “Uhs” and “Ummms.” So, sorry about that too! 😉

A few stories, strung together, from personal experience as a party mama. Some are happy. Some are sad. Some just make me mad. For parents of kids with disabilities, party invitations (or lack of) can be problematic. 

I’m sharing because you might relate. Also, hearing about our experiences (though… I didn’t handle some of these situations well) might help you better prepare for similar experiences, if and when they come up for you.

So as we said in the 80s…party on dudes!

Links mentioned in this episode: 

🕶 Blog Posts About Parties, Inclusion, Being Invited and Not Being Invited… 

🕶 Disability Script

🕶 How To Authentically Introduce Your Atypical Child To Typical Peers

Here are a few NEW (to us) or updated words related to disability we’re trying to use in place of the outdated phrases used in the past. I’m not perfect and I still make mistakes. But, I thought while I’m learning and evolving (language wise anyway) I’d share in case these are new to you too. 

Rated Explicit because of a tiny f-bomb near the end… in the outtakes.

Avery’s Joke: “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”

Links mentioned in this episode: 

🕶 Why Does the term Special Needs Still Exist? // 🎙 Ep 2 Not Special // 🕶 Neurodiversity: Some Basic Terms & Definitions

🕶Independence VS Interdependence: @open_future_learning // ✎ Stop the export of live horses 

Our goal as parents is to give our kids the skills they’ll need to live as independently as possible. In this episode we share four fabulous tools that help do just that. We chat about:

• Smart Watches and air tags
• Disability Introduction Cards
• Mydoh (this episode’s awesome sponsor!) 
• Video of Avery using her Mydoh card
• PFOs aka “Planted Friendly Observers”

These tools make up part of our ever growing Life Skills Toolkit. We think each of them is a winner winner chicken dinner! Mmmmm chicken… (this random reference will make sense when you listed to the chicken restaurant story. I’m still laughing. And licking my greasy fingers). 

The title doesn’t explain what this episode is about at all. I’m terrible at titles. This episode is about how freaking hard it is to let our disabled teens shop or run errands independently. I give examples of WHY it’s problematic (and dangerous at times) and what we’re doing to make it work. 

Here’s the Insta Reel where I follow Avery and her friends to the store so she can shop independently, but safely.

Episode 9: Abuse In The Disability Community

Five friends join in to share some of the remarks made about them in the past that have been impossible to shake. We should never be commenting on people’s bodies, appearances, mannerisms, differences or anything really. This is also the episode where I talk about how to effectively and respectfully address our kids’ questions about differences when we’re out in public. (I also ‘may’ burst into some Quiet Riot.)

As mentioned in this episode: @ableismistrash

Disability mamas and parents in general have a lot going on and we don’t have a lot of extra mental space to work with. This episode is about the 10 ways I’ve found to help clear out some of the clutter and free up some much needed head space.

* Adult Language

As mentioned in this episode:

👓 On The Blog: Gift Hiding Hack

Sometimes parents of kids with disabilities, or all parents I’m assuming, struggle with when it’s appropriate to step in and went to step back. I personally really struggle with this. These are my thoughts about when stepping in is helpful for our kids and peers who might need some insight into how to interact positively with people with disabilities. And when we should step back and let our kids figure it out.

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

👓 On The Blog: Sometimes I Speak For My Disabled Child And Here’s Why

👓 On The Blog: How To Authentically Introduce Your Atypical Child To Typical Peers

👓 On The Blog: Put A Disabilities Script In Your Parenting Toolbox

Reflections on some self-care attempts—exposing which went well and which crashed and burned. Lots to talk about. Not all of it is flattering, but nobody wants sunshine all the time. Some days it rains. Which helps the flowers grow, er, whatever. You know what I mean. LOL! 

Links mentioned in this episode:

👓 On The Blog: Self-Care for Caregivers How-To 

The Insomnia Project Podcast 

How to send all unwanted cell calls straight to voicemail

👓 On The Blog: The End Of My Booze Cruise

We’re back from summer hiatus and we have loads to tell you! This episode begins with updates… what happened this summer (and there was a lot) and ends with our FIVE whys. WHY do we do this podcast. Like for real, what’s the point? Plus, that biiiiiiiiiig announcement. The suspense, right? 🙂 

As mentioned in this episode, here are the creators to check out:

• Kathy Buckworth – Instagram / Go To Grandma Podcast
• Tory Halpin – Research Based Parenting: Raising Kids With Intention and Respect – Instagram
• MamaBear For Rare – Jordan’s Syndrome advocate Spreading awareness to help the world better understand – Instagram
• Madeline Cheney/The Rare Life – the ultimate solidarity for parents of children with rare conditions – Instagram / Podcast
• Melissa/Our Real Rare Life – Medical mom • Advocate • Grateful Perspective is everything- Instagram 

We’re taking a SUMMER BREAK! We’ll be back with brand new episodes in the fall. This final episode before taking a much needed pool side popsicle break is about why we ALL need a break and how feeling burned out and bitey is something so many of us are feeling right about now. 

This episode is about how and why you might want to prep your kids before hanging out with a disabled peep.

Is it rude to discuss somebody’s disability? In some cases, for sure! Especially if we’re talking about strangers. I’m referring specifically to a constructive, purposeful discussion intended to educate your kids about what a particular disability might involve. When people, kids especially, are rude or judgmental, it’s usually coming from a place of fear. I’ve found a helpful tactic is to simply provide a little understanding and context. By knowing what’s up, the fear disappears and connections are more easy to make. Bonus: Avery’s cousins and aunt join us for this episode!

I wanted to call this episode “Genes, Genes, What Do They Means?” But I’m keeping it serious. Well, serious-ish. This is a quick and dirty explanation of what DNA is, what genes do, and how chromosomes work—with a bit about how rare chromosome disorders can occur and specifically, what Avery’s rare chromosome deletion and duplication syndrome looks like. 

Full Disclosure. I am not a scientist. Or as I said in the episode… “science tits.” LOL! 

All about Genetic Testing

Should we tell our older kids with intellectual disabilities the truth about S. Claus, the E. Bunny and the gang?? And if so, how? 

This episode is about that AND how we celebrated Christmas in May 2019 when I nearly ruined future holiday magic forever. 

*Content Warning: Not for kids… sensitive info. 

School is Avery’s happy safe place. So for her to come home the other day, distraught and scared and worried about going back, it was upsetting. This is the story of her terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

*Content Warning: Not for kids. Violence. 

It isn’t easy to change our perspective and stay positive. It’s way easier to focus on all negative stuff. And man, there’s a lot. Especially right now. This episode is about how we can actively change our perspective and reshape our reality, including the challenges we face as disability families.

Here is the link to the EXCELLENT study I talked about in this episode: Strength in Diversity: Positive Impacts of Children with Disabilities

Sometimes we’re all a little (or a lot) negative. Of course we are. I mean, have you looked around lately? There is some STUFF happening. There’s also some stuff happening in our house right now too. Nothing we can’t manage but holy man, it takes a toll. So, in this “keepin’ it real” episode, I share what’s going on over here in the format of a game we used to play with the kids. The game is called, “Fortunately Unfortunately.” Ever played it? No? Then this is the perfect episode for you to learn how to play AND to enjoy an obscure Nelly Olsen reference. 

*Content Warning: some rather traumatic content about a child (my child) choking. 

This episode is about why children, kids with disabilities in particular, choke. And also, what we as caregivers can do to keep our kids as safe as possible. 

As soon as I feel like I have a handle on the terminology in the disability community, I come across something new. Like “Glass Children.” I’d never heard of this until a few months ago. In this episode I share a bit about who Glass Children are and what parents and the community at large can do to help make sure that kids with disabled siblings feel SEEN and heard. 

Jamie Guterman’s TED Talk about growing up as a Glass Child

Ever hosted a puppy party? How about a dog wedding? Just me? I know, it’s a bit out there. But isn’t that what we do as parents? I feel like I’ve lost that creative, silly side this past few years. A pandemic will do that. So I thought I’d share the old “fun” dog wedding planner, puppy party host Lisa. Just FUR fun. Oh and in case you were wondering who let the dogs out? I did. 

This episode is rated Clean for all audiences.. clean, if you don’t count the dog hair on my pants. 

👓 On The Blog: How to host a dog party

Dog Wedding

Part of working toward inclusion, includes talking about exclusion—where it comes from and how it feels. Disability advocates like me talk a big talk. But, I haven’t always been a shining example of inclusion. My history includes plenty of ableism.

Sharing my missteps doesn’t paint me in the most flattering light, but exposing our flaws and our subsequent growth can be one way to uncover hidden but common ableist ideas and help clear a path ahead. So buckle up, I’m going to expose myself.

A resounding welcome and happy hello to our new listeners! This episode begins with a brief intro about who we are and what this podcast is about. We then move into a medical update and some thoughts about how as parents, our identities are so tightly connected to our kid’s diagnoses—whether we mean it to be or not. 

👓 On The Blog: Living With The Fear of SUDEP

Fridge Make-Over How To Video

I thought it might be cool to go ‘viral’ on social media. And then we did. And now I’m not so sure it’s all that it’s cracked up to be. Though there’s no adult language in this episode, it still has an Explicit rating because there are topics around online bullying and derogatory comments that are not meant for little ears. 

In this episode mom Lisa explains how an Instagram reel that went viral elicited a broad range of comments—some thoughtful, some ignorant and some downright awful. 

Avery is absent in this episode (she is fine, just taking the week off). She’ll be back next week!

Here’s the reel discussed in this episode.

What?! How has it been a year already? In this retrospective anniversary episode we look back over our first year of mama/daughter podcasting—highlighting some of our favourite episodes and we sharing why we started this “journey” in the first place. 

Thank you SO MUCH for sticking with us this year; for commenting, sharing and for just making us feel so dang good. 

Here’s to another year of tech glitches, insights and eff bombs, and of course, the occasional bursting into song for no real reason. 

I’m an inquisitive person. I’m also nosy. I like to know things about people. But, I’m not a jerk about it. I don’t make unwelcome comments about people I don’t know or ask them personal questions. So why do some people feel it’s okay to cross that line when it comes to disabled children? I’ve been asked, “What’s wrong with her?” and “Why does she talk like that?” and other equally rude questions about Avery’s disabilities many times. I don’t anticipate that will stop any time soon, so we’ve come up with a “script”—a set of rehearsed comebacks for occasions when we feel like responding. We don’t always. But when a question comes out of a place of curiosity, not cruelty, sometimes we decide to respond to possibly move the conversation forward in a positive way. Other times we decide it’s none of their damn business and walk away. Depends on the day. 

In this episode we share some of the rude, ignorant and insensitive comments we’ve heard over the years and then explain how we decide whether or not to respond and what our script might say. 

* Content Warning: Sensitive Topics and some adult language 

Links mentioned in this episode:

Lucy on Instagram is @_peas.in.a.pod Lauren Lowery on Instagram is @lauren_nia_lowery

Sometimes, for whatever reason—bad weather, an illness or simply isolating due to, let’s say… a virus, you might have to stay home for a bit. And when that happens, it stinks. But, we came up with a list of socially distanced and/or at home activities that can make it stink a lot less. 

This episode begins with our recent brush with Covid and the resulting quarantine which lead to how we came up with this EXCITING list!!! I put exciting in all caps to hammer home how exciting these activities are… and even you don’t think they’re all that fun, just play along because I really upsold these experiences to Avery. 🙂 

For a written list and description of Isolation Activities, check out the BLOG post here. 

Life for women can pose challenges that men might not have to deal with. And life for disabled women can include extra difficulties and dangers. This episode outlines some of those obstacles. We also share ten things we are doing now to develop skills that will help Avery live a more independent life as she gets older. 

Shower Belt

It’s PURPLE month so we’re devoting the first ABL episode in March to the subject of epilepsy. This episode starts with a personal update. Then we share some “fast facts” about epilepsy before diving into some listener questions. But, the sweet spot of this episode starts at 21 minutes in—where some of Avery’s favourite people in the world share what epilepsy means to them. It’s… 💜!

Links mentioned in this episode:

Epilepsy Canada

👓 On The Blog: The ABL Resource Page (with links to epilepsy/seizure related info, resources, books about epilepsy, etc.)

👓 On The Blog: SUDEP Article

If you divided your parenting life into stages, they might be arranged from the beginning—diagnosis day to adulthood (and possibly independence, or the equivalent based on their abilities). I’m a mom somewhere just north of the middle of these stages. Here are a few things I’ve learned up to this point that might possibly be helpful.

👓 On The Blog: Advice From A Disability Mom In The Middle

👓 On The Blog: Kid Friendly Breathing Techniques For Stress Relief

In this family friendly, g-rated, zero f-bomb episode, Avery’s dad (who legit never swears) hops on as co-host! Adrian and Avery talk about one of the things they have both missed most during Covid and they share the daddy daughter bonding activity they do to keep hope alive and well. Um, it’s so cute I could just swoon, but I’m already swooning naturally because… vertigo.

Quotes from Avery’s dad after recording:

1. This is actually harder than it looks.

2. I MAY have gone around in circles a bit. I kept forgetting what I was talking about.

3. I forgot to ask Avery any questions. 

4. I’m hungry. 

Here are the Disney YouTube channels they mentioned: DFBGuide and WDW News Today

Today’s topic isn’t the happiest. But, it’s a valuable conversation to have. We’re talking about grief. Specifically, how to navigate grief with young children or with kids with intellectual disabilities. See? Not super fun, but necessary. 

👓 On The Blog: Strategies for Helping Kids Cope With Grief

If you’ve spent any amount of time online, you’ve either seen or received negative or rude comments. Sadly, this is the world we live in now. But, just because people feel the need to express every opinion, good and bad, it doesn’t mean we have to allow other people’s “stuff” into our lives. This episode is all about how I try to respond to people in a way that is constructive and hopefully positive. It’s also about what to do when you just “can’t even anymore” with people’s BS. 🙂 

Rated Explicit for adult language (just a little) because I’m talking TO PARENTS, NOT CHILDREN about raising our spectacular kids. Let’s do this thing!

That title is confusing. Content as in social media fodder, not as in happy and content. Though, if you’re using your child as content for your own personal gain, they might not feel content in a few years when they discover what you’ve been posting about them. Just food for thought. Also, heads up seven up, I’m not perfect. Far from it. As a parent and a disability ‘advocate’ I mess up with the best of them. 

Rated Explicit for language (just a little) because I’m talking TO PARENTS, NOT CHILDREN about the way we speak about and post about our kids.

Do you constantly do things for your kids? Not to be kind and helpful, but more because you just can’t help yourself? Do you take over when they struggle with a task? Do you redo things they’ve already done? If you answered yes to any of these, you too might be an over-parenter. (See Also: Snowplow Parent, Lawnmower Mom). This episode is about why we over parent and why we should try to stop. 

The @open_future_learning Instagram Graphic

We’re baaaaack! Today we share a bit about us personally so new listeners can get to know us (and what they’re in for). Lisa also shares a few epiphanies she had over the holidays, as well as the contents of her f*cket list (she claims she coined this term and I believe her. LOL!) 

There is a content warning for this episode for adult language because… f*cket list. 

👓 On The Blog: My Bucket List…Kinda

👓 On The Blog: When Mummy Uses Salty Language

We’re taking a little break. In this very short but sweet episode we explain why. But don’t worry, we’ll be back with bells on (possibly Christmas bells left behind by Santa’s reindeer) on January 6th! We’ve got a lot more to say. 

Have a happy and healthy December everyone! 

xo Avery and Lisa 

Sometimes I feel like I’m in the in-betweens—somewhere between the typical parents and the adult disability community. This episode is about what it’s like to parent in that place. It’s also about an Instagram post by @nina_tame that inspired this episode, as well as giving me a nudge to examine my thoughts and actions around privacy and access to not only my child, but also to the details about her disabilities. 

You can find Nina’s post on Instagram HERE. 

Gatekeepers are the people between us and the doctors or specialists whose help we desperately need. Guilt is something parents feel, often for no actual reason. And a great idea is something I have every other day, but do absolutely nothing about because ideas are easy. It’s the execution that trips me up. 

This week’s episode was going to be something light hearted. But in an effort to keep it real, I did an abrupt about face and changed the topic completely because I’m not feeling particularly light hearted today. I’m actually feeling a little heavy hearted to be honest. 

This episode is about how it feels when your intellectually disabled child regresses, cognitively. Not a particularly fun topic, but I think it’s an important one. 

I feel like there might be traces of toxic positivity and ableism in this episode. I hope not, but maybe? I’m working hard to check myself because internalized ableism runs deep. And when it comes to advocating for my daughter, sometimes I can’t see it.

The topic of this episode is vaccines. I’ve talked about this previously, in episode 19, but I thought I’d give it another ‘shot’ because needles are a ‘very pointed’ topic right now. Puns totally intended. And yes, I am a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to vaccines. I didn’t even realize it until the other day. I’ll share the story of the first pandemic I experienced with my children and how I handled (or mishandled) the vaccine situation then. Shockingly, not much has changed since 2009. 

We end the episode with an empowering mantra and words of wisdom from Miss Avery. 🙏

Content Warning: Adult language… I bleeped out the eff words to the best of my ability but this episode is not kid friendly. 

Do you swear in front of your children? I do. I mean, I try not to but sh*t happens. As long as my kids know the difference between an expressive expletive and hateful language, I’m okay with it. Words are just words. It’s not what we say, as much as how we say it and why. 

My 18 year old son pops in to share his thoughts of his mother’s salty language. 🙂 

👓 On The Blog: Swearing In Front of your Kids

5 reasons swearing is a sign of intelligence, helps manage pain and more

Wanting to say and do the right thing, but having zero idea how to help… this is what it can feel like for friends and family on the outside looking in on our disability parenting life. It’s a tricky place to be and it’s what we’re talking about today. 

Have a listen to my friend Kathy Buckworth’s awesome Go To Grandma Podcast HERE. In particular, may I recommend EPISODE 11? Yes, yes it IS the episode I was on. Kathy and I discussed how grandparents can play a positive and helpful role in the lives of their grandkids with disabilities. 

There’s a lot to learn from some TV programs and movies. Documentaries for sure, but there’s also insight to be gained from fictional stories. In this case, I’m talking about insight into life with disabilities. This episode is a list and brief (to the best of my blabby ability) description of 10 programs about disability that you simply must to watch. 

*This episode is rated “E” because of an f-bomb (Ricky Gervais made me do it!). 

Here are the 10 shows mentioned in this episode:

Atypical, Speechless, Parenthood, Justine, Wonder, Derek, Special, Run, Love On The Spectrum, Crip Camp

Wonder

And here’s the more detailed post about why you need to watch Derek: In A World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Derek

I hate being cold. And I hate bending. So trying to teach Avery to ice skate was a perfect storm. An ice storm, if you will. This episode is about how activities like swimming, riding a bike and skating are things we usually teach our kids at some point. But, for some of us achieving these skills feels impossible. And we feel guilty about that, so we keep trying. And sometimes we get frustrated and sweaty and sweary about it. But we want our kids to enjoy the same typical childhood activities as their peers. 

Also, there’s a story about a boy and a big white helmet that makes me laugh out loud. 

Here’s the link to the aVery Bright Life Resource Page with links to Programs, Services and Resources for Youth with Disabilities. 

Some topics, like the atrocities inflicted upon our indigenous people, are hard enough for most of us to comprehend. But how do you explain residential schools and the horrific treatment of children to our kids whose intellectual and developmental disabilities make experiences like these so hard to grasp? 

This episode was published, today, September 30th—Orange Shirt Day and our first National Day of Truth and Reconciliation—which is a prime example of the tough talks we have with our kiddos. 

These topics are definitely tough to tackle, but we can’t assume people with cognitive disabilities can’t comprehend big issues. Children and young adults with intellectual disabilities should be included in these conversations. We just need to be mindful of the vocabulary we use and also try to end discussions with a positive call to action or an explanation of what we can do to help or make things better. 

I’m not a perfect parent and I’m not always positive, but here are five perfectly positive parenting tricks that work for us. These can be applied to kids with disabilities or kids who are simply pushing their parents’ buttons. Parenting is hard. We all need strategies that work. Plus, a story/rant about a mom at Walmart who had a tantrum in front of Avery and I. Avery shares her thoughts on that. Then I offer some delicious and unsolicited breakfast ideas because… tangent. LOL! 

Content Warning: Language (just a tiny bit 🤷‍♀️)

👓 On The Blog: How To Spoil Your Kids Awesome 

You’d think talking would be easy and natural, but it’s not. Speech is complex. And it certainly doesn’t come easily or naturally to many kids with disabilities. My kiddo included. In this episode we share seven strategies that have proven helpful to us in our efforts to help Avery speak more fluently. There is also a list of our favourite “Avery-isms” thrown in for fun. With her permission of course. 

Check out my friend Kathy Buckworth’s new podcast/radio show… Go To Grandma 

This episode starts with an apology (from me) and ends with a high school update from Avery. And somewhere in the middle, there’s a story about a snot sandwich. So, this one’s a winner folks. You don’t want to miss it! 🤣

Here’s the link to the sweet Instagram post from @angelarepke.

This is an admittedly self-indulgent and possibly dramatic episode. But, everyone I love is leaving me this week!! My husband returned to work after being home for over a year. Avery is leaving for high school. And my son is headed to university tomorrow. And I’m sad. But I’m pretending not to be. So, please enjoy my discomfort. Oh, and there’s also the story about how my son upped the dramatic tension by passing out cold in his room yesterday. It’s okay, he’s fine. But yikes. Fainting offspring is not for the faint of heart. 

Looking for the positive is a good thing. Until it’s not. Some circumstances in life are just profoundly sad. Shaming people into trying to find the positive in tragic situations is not helpful. This episode is about toxic positivity with personal examples geared toward the disability community. It’s also about how NOT to be “that” person by doing these things instead. 

 Hey! It’s Sponge Lisa Tight Pants here. We spongey empath types tend to soak up the vibe around us so when the world is hurting, we hurt too. So, in an effort to avoid dwelling on the dark and heavy feelings, we’re trying to highlight some of the bright, fluffy, happy, cute things that are all around us. 

Based on the wildly popular and positive TikTok trend where people are listing the little inconsequential things that people do that make them happy, this is our list.

We’d love to hear what little human (or animal) behaviours bring you joy. 

Watch: #cutethingspeopledo on TikTok. 

Read: Sponge Lisa Tight Pants

If you like Grey’s Anatomy, you’ll love this episode. It’s the perfect mixture of medicine and drama. LOL! This is our experience with otoplasty or ear correction surgery. As with so many topics around disability, this one also has an element of “why would you do that you ableist parent!?” There are some who say that parents don’t have the right to make decisions about altering their child’s physical appearance or to “fix” their differences. Major decisions like these require the patient’s consent. I get it. I do. But alas, when Avery was five years old, she had her ears pinned back (they don’t actually “pin” them by the way). This episode is about why we went ahead with the surgery and what the procedure and recovery were like. Avery provide her input and I answer the question…”Knowing what I know now, would we make the same choice?” 

For all the medical details and to learn more about otoplasty AND to see before/after photos including the one where Avery looks like Willie Nelson, follow this link to the blog.

‘m in the midst of a nasty bout of insomnia. So whilst I’m lying awake at night, I have pretend conversions with anti-vaxers and anti-maskers and I try to figure them out. I aim to be more empathetic than judgemental. Sometimes I succeed, and other times I scream into my pillow. 

These are my thoughts. Scattered as they are. 

Bottom line… I want my friends and family to be healthy and safe. And I want what we all want, for this god awful pandemic to finally be over. 

Sorry for the audio. Again. I think I may be cursed, technically. 

“What’s the deal with the cat?” In this episode I attempt to explain the origin of the aVERY bright life cat logo and discuss what our website is about. This should’ve been easy, but my insomniac brain had other ideas. Also, Avery fell off her bike on recording day. She broke her fall with her face, so she wasn’t able to talk, hence her absence from this episode. She’s fine though. She’ll be back next week. 🙂 

Here’s the link to the resource page mentioned in this episode: ABL Adaptive Resources

Just because somebody has a medical degree or has been practicing medicine for decades, it doesn’t mean they know everything. It also doesn’t mean they understand your child. You know your child best. You instinctively know if there’s some thing off. Don’t ever dismiss that. In this episode I share a few examples of when medical professionals either didn’t take our concerns about Avery seriously, or when they gave us horrible advice… that we disregarded, thankfully, and instead we trusted our gut!

Content Warning: I talk a bit about Avery’s seizures which could be upsetting for some people. Also,
there are a few 4-letter nuggets in there too.

I hope this episode doesn’t put you to sleep. Actually, I hope it does. Because this one’s all about sleep. Or in my case, the disgusting lack of it. These are the reasons we don’t sleep, the reasons we need to sleep (sleep well and sleep enough) and strategies for making that happen. We’ve been sleeping since we were babies and have had lots of practise so… why is this so hard??? When I don’t sleep, I’m not a great parent or a very good human in general. I’m trying to get a handle on this because… EXHAUSTED.

Listen in and I’ll share what is working and what is not. Adult-ish content warning for the story at the end of this episode.

(For some reason Avery introduced this episode as Good Night, Tighty Whities. I don’t know where she got that, but it made me laugh.)

Linky Links:

– Natural Sleep Aids and home Remedies that can help You Sleep better

– Experts warn of risks of taking melatonin to help you sleep 

– The Hardwick Life Podcast | Episode 3 – Andrew Huberman, PhD

– goodnightsleepsite.com

– How Your Sleep Changes As You Age

– The Good Night Sleep Cleanse™

This episode is about friends. Not the 1990s TV show, but actual real life friends—making them and keeping them. It can be so difficult for kids with disabilities or who are different to fit in. Especially when they’re faced with the “Bad Behaviour Bubble.” 

Lisa shares a few examples of when Avery was ignored or teased in the playground and tells the story of a friendship that changed dramatically as Avery’s former best friend enter the BBB (that’s just me trying to start a trend by abbreviating the Bad Behaviour Bubble). She also reads the unexpected and beautiful message she received from Avery’s former classmate. 

This is our 14th episode! That’s right, for 14 weeks in a row we’ve been talking into a microphone, hoping you’re listening. And it turns out, you are! And we couldn’t be more thrilled. To celebrate Avery’s “Champagne Episode” (the 14th broadcast in her 14th year) we decided to make this one ALL ABOUT AVERY—a sweet subject indeed. We put a call out on Instagram, asking for listeners to send in questions for Avery. We got some great ones! 

If you think answering questions on the fly, for a person with a speech and language disorder is difficult, you’d be correct. It’s definitely not easy. But, have a listen to how Avery thoughtfully and enthusiastically approached each question. I’m so proud. 

This episode is about the anxiety we’re feeling as adult humans, as parents, and in particular, parents who are caring for kiddos with complex medical and developmental needs. It’s a stressful gig on a good day. Throw in a deadly virus and it’s grind your teeth, clench your shoulders, knot your fists, sleep with one eye open level anxiety. 

Avery sat this episode out because this gal doesn’t have a worry in the world. It’s her mama who’s the worry wart. 

Listen in for some strategies (that really work!) for coping with stress and getting the worry under control. 

• Cue-Controlled Relaxation
• She.20 Podcast: shrooms’ (psilocybin) are making a comeback “The use of psychedelics is being touted as helpful for depression, anxiety, smoking cessation, PTSD and many other conditions.  They’re also a great support for some of our menopause symptoms. We’ve tried a daily dose and can attest to its calming properties and its ability to help us focus!”
• Breathing Exercises

Making judgments about our environment and the people around us is normal. But, I feel like our level of judgment in this cancel culture, internet troll world, has crossed a line. Every day seems to be judgment day in the world as a whole, in the parenting world, and in the disability parenting community.

That’s the topic of this episode—this escalating judgey free-for-all. I offer my take on it, with two examples of when I’ve felt judged for my parenting. I wanted to call this episode, “Judgey Judgers and That Time Mummy Lost Her Pants” but Avery didn’t approve. She named it, “Please Don’t Judge.” Fine. But my pants really did fall down. LOL! 

My Twitter bio used to say, “I have two kids—one has special needs, but both are special.” I wrote that before I knew to replace special needs with disabled and my bio has since been appropriately updated. However, there are a lot of special and endearing things about both of my children. In this episode, Sebastian joined his sister and I on the show to share a bit about his experience with having a sibling with disabilities. 

He had his second Covid shot this week and isn’t feeling the greatest. So, we kept the chat short and rather “introductory.” But don’t worry…he’ll back another time to go deeper into a few key topics. 

Why “Pandemic Potpourri?” Well because it made me laugh. And alliteration, obviously. Plus, this episode is a bit of a mishmash. 

I talk to my daughter Avery about her experience with her first Covid Vaccine. And then I talk (to myself and the dog) about what it was like giving birth during a pandemic… my son was born in 2003, during the SARS pandemic. I also share a bit about Avery’s birth story.

In this episode I’m tackling the uncomfortable subject of perverts, stranger danger and sexual predators, with a specific focus on a very vulnerable population—the disabled community. (Avery doesn’t participate in this episode, but she’ll be back next week.)

Today is Global Accessibility Awareness Day and we’re talking about…global accessibility in terms of our digital world. Why does it matter? And how we can make it happen?

Rethinking The Term Hearing Impaired

Website Accessibility Checker

Audio Transcription

Virtual School has been amazing and awful and amazing. Avery tells us what she loves about learning online and what she misses about being at “real school.” 

Plus we talk tech and attending school from home. Webcams have been a gift. How could we possibly do online learning without them? But, webcams are also a hazard and I’ll TMI you all about that. 

Not to sound cheesy, but motherhood is a gift. And not one that everyone receives. Sometimes by choice. Other times, not. In this episode, our first “special” (we decided to level up for Mother’s Day) I share some thoughts about my mom and what I learned from her, how I feel about being a mom myself, and what I hope (and fear) as Avery heads toward “mothering age.”

Apologies for the airplane flying overhead, the street cleaner driving by. Twice. And the unidentified clicking sound in the early part of the recording. 🤷‍♀️

In case you couldn’t make it out, here’s Avery’s joke… What do you call a mom who can’t draw? Tracey!

I wanted to call this episode, “Bad Moms Club” since it’s about some of my less than stellar parenting moments. However, my pod partner Avery objected to the word “bad” so we settled on the abbreviation, BMC. Better than “The BM club” I guess. Haha! Who’s the mature one in this podcast duo? Not me, obviously. 

We’re all doing our best. Some days we’re crushing the parenting game. Other days, not so much. The point is, we all make mistakes or say or do things we’re not super proud of. It’s okay—parents are people too. 

Content Warning: Adult only episode. One (tiny) curse word and a tooth fairy spoiler.

Come meet Avery’s dad and find out what she loves most about him. Then Adrian and I participate in some awkward banter about waiting to find out who “caused” Avery’s genetic mutation. Content Warning: We use the R-slur near the end of the episode. NOT flippantly or disrespectfully, but as part of an earnest discussion about language, and words getting lost in translation. Stay tuned to the end for Avery’s robot joke. 

Episode 3 is all about the D word. No, not disabilities. We’re talkin’ diagnosis. The day Avery was officially diagnosed with a complex and rare chromosome deletion/duplication was a very hard day. 

In this episode I’ll be talking about what our daughter’s diagnosis felt like in the early days and how we feel about it today. I also touch on the somewhat sensitive subject of grieving the loss of the life you expected. What’s with me and touchy topics these days? 

Stay tuned to the end of the episode for some true life take-aways and a joke from Avery herself. Knock-knock…

Why does the term “Special Needs” still exist? It’s outdated. It’s also offensive to the majority of the disability community. 

This episode is about why the term Special Needs is out dated and what we should use instead. 

You can read my blog post on this topic and watch the “Human Needs” campaign video (mentioned in this episode) HERE. 

Here it is, finally, our very first full aVERY Bright Life (ABL) podcast episode! Apologies in advance for the 356 “uhs, ums, and so’s.” It’s shocking how often we repeat certain words and sounds without even realizing it. Avery and I had a blast recording this together (the editing wasn’t as much fun… but I’ll get the hang of it eventually. And hopefully figure out how to get the volume right). 

In episode 1 we talk about how this podcast was actually conceived six years ago (that’s a LONG gestation period!) and why my old blog, Forever in Mom Genes, evolved into a new website, co-authored by my daughter Avery. The episode begins with Avery sharing what she likes and what makes her unique. It ends with what will likely be a permanent feature called, “Avery says…” where she either answers some questions or shares something important to her or tells a joke. Today, she shares her daily mantra. 💕

Thank you for tuning in! We hope you enjoy this episode (and can get past how many times we bump the microphone or lose our train of thought).

Welcome to aVERY BRIGHT LIFE! We’re excited you’re here! My daughter Avery and I recorded this trailer so you can find out a bit about us before subscribing to our podcast. You’re going to subscribe, right? 😉 

Avery has an intellectual disability and profound speech disorder. Recording audio with a person who struggles with sentences longer than three words is, uh, challenging. But we’re figuring it out, taking our time, and keeping it light.  This podcast isn’t about smooth flowy sentences. Not at all. This is a place where imperfection and keeping it real is .We’ll be talking about parenting, being a kid, disability life, and life in general—a very bright life actually. There’s nothing dark or dull about THIS life.

This podcast was recorded in Garageband and edited (to the best of her limited tech ability) by Lisa Thornbury.

Read more at averybrightlife.com.

Come chat with us on social!

Instagram: @LisaThornbury

Facebook: aVERY Bright life (formerly Forever In Mom Genes)

Twitter: @LisaThornbury

Questions or Advertising Inquiries: averybrightlife@gmail.com