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Since it’s the beginning of a new school year, I thought this story might be worth sharing again. This post, written 8 years ago, popped up in my Facebook Memories today. My daughter is in high school now. She has a busy life, filled with activities and plenty of great friends. But, this hasn’t always been the case. So, always be kind. And please teach your kiddos that disabled kids are worthy of respect, love, kindness, and friendship.
My child is different. Her genetics make it so. Due to a random stroke of fate, a chunk of her DNA is missing. Nobody knows why.
But to her old friends, none of that matters. They don’t see what’s “missing.” They see her joy, her light, and her infectious laugh. They love her big hugs and her playful curiosity. They accept her for exactly who she is.
But new friends, some adults and children, hesitate. “What’s wrong with her?” they ask in hushed voices… which we can totally hear by the way.
There is nothing wrong with her.
She might struggle to communicate clearly at times. She might stumble over her words or repeat herself, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have something valuable to say. She wants to be a part of the conversation.
She may not always pick up on subtle social cues or realize when she’s being excluded or teased, but as she grows, she’s becoming more aware. And as any parent knows, when your child comes home in tears because they were left out at recess, it breaks your heart—whether they have a disability or not.
We know she won’t be invited to everything, and we’re teaching her that’s okay. Learning to read social cues and understanding that people sometimes need space is part of growing up. (Side Note: Number of parties she was invited to last school year? ZERO.)
But here’s what I ask: include her when you can. It might not seem like a big deal to ask her to sit with you at assembly, play catch at recess, or join you on the swings after school—even if it’s just for a few minutes. For her, these small moments mean everything.
This is my child. Her dad, her brother, and I love her deeply. It hurts us when she’s ignored, talked over, whispered about, or stared at.
Get to know Avery. You won’t be disappointed.
So, as this school year unfolds, please remind your children that every kid, no matter their abilities, deserves kindness, inclusion, and friendship.
“I have a lot of friends. We play tag at lunch and it’s so much fun. I love meeting new friends. You should always be kind to everyone. I always say hi and show new kids around.”