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Repost From September 29, 2009
I love the idea of writing a bucket list – things you want to do before you kick the bucket. It’s not as easy as you’d think.
I got frustrated and ended up creating a ‘Fucket List’ instead—a list of traits to kick to the curb before I kick the bucket.
*I wrote this post 13 years ago and used the term “fucket list” before anyone else. I’m not suggesting I coined the phrase, but I totally coined the phrase. INSERT KUDOS AND WILD APPLAUSE HERE.
Here are some personal traits that need to go, appearing in no particular order (they’re equally annoying):
1. Stop obsessing over how the weather is going to affect my hair and just go out into the elements and live my life. Do animals give two shits what their fur is doing? No. Humans are stupid. It’s only hair!
2. Stop feeling guilty about every little thing.
3. Quit worrying about my car, my house, my clothes, my things. Material things DO NOT matter.
4. Stop trying to control everything (people, schedules, household tasks, life). I am not all powerful.
5. Seeking the approval of others is pointless. Don’t be a weenie and just get on with it.
6. Envy is ugly. So what if she’s a better write or wittier or more in shape or more successful or….just fucket. It couldn’t matter less.
7. As my grandma always said, “Never say anything about someone unless you’d be proud to say it to their face.” She was right. I HAVE said unkind things about people and it’s come back to bite me in the ass. Gossip has no place in a happy life.
8. Let grudges go. I’m like a pit bull who won’t let go of a bone only in this case, it’s a bone of contention.
9. I have passive aggressive tendencies. It’s gross.
10. I’m a tad dramatic at times. Sometimes it’s funny. Endearing even? But mostly, it’s obnoxious. Drama belongs on a stage, not in my comment section.
11. I’m far from perfect so how can I judge anyone else?
12. “Don’t worry worry, until worry worries you” is an old Irish expression. I’m a worrier. It’s exhausting. I think it has a lot to do with #2. Fucket. Ulcers are not sexy.
14. I need to quit being so superstitious! (Notice how I skipped #13?)
15. Stop planning for things that may never happen. Right now, today, this moment is all that actually matters.
